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By Florence Dugas

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It sometimes happens that she will limit her contact with a man to this single fantasy, as in these scenes. In a car, just in front of her building, she is with a near-stranger, who can hardly believe his good fortune. She kisses him distractedly, but reaches for his cock immediately—quickly pulls it out of his pants, quickly sucks it—only because she wants to feel his sperm run into her mouth, and not lose a drop of it, and then kiss him again lightly, and go up to her place, alone, to go to bed with the taste of jism on her tongue.

And you also beat me. But they aren't the same. You look for yourself in the pain, but I like it for what it takes away from me: my skin, desires, dreams. To no longer be only flesh, because flesh is nothing. Pain puts me somewhere else. Everything becomes blurred. Sometimes there is even a moment—maybe you have noticed this—when the pain itself fades away. " I ask after a short silence. "You mean because I say I love you? With you, I give you all of myself, my body, my cries, my tears, because I don't care about them.

J. P. is profoundly egotistical; he lives in a state of self-absorption you're still far from. He is already nearly completely empty. " "Okay. " "I will kill myself," she says. "Death will be just a completion. The perfection of my annihilation. " She brings the bottle of champagne to the foot of the bed and, her mouth open, empties the last drops onto her tongue. I lean over and manage to steal several of these last tears from her mouth. She lets herself be kissed with compliance, but without passion.

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Dolorosa Soror by Florence Dugas

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